OOPS… SOMETHING TO THINK…..

NOTE: READ BETWEEN THE LINES

1. DO NOT WALK BEHIND ME, FOR I MAY NOT LEAD. DO NOT WALK AHEAD OF ME, FOR I MAY NOT FOLLOW. DO NOT WALK BESIDE ME, EITHER. JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.
2. IT'S ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE DAWN. SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO STEAL YOUR NEIGHBOR'S NEWSPAPER, THAT'S THE TIME TO DO IT.
3. SEX IS LIKE AIR. IT'S NOT IMPORTANT UNLESS YOU AREN'T GETTING ANY.
4. DON'T BE IRREPLACEABLE. IF YOU CAN'T BE REPLACED, YOU CAN'T BE PROMOTED.
5. NO ONE IS LISTENING UNTIL YOU MAKE A MISTAKE.
6. ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU'RE UNIQUE. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
7. NEVER TEST THE DEPTH OF THE WATER WITH BOTH FEET.
8. IT MAY BE THAT YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE IS SIMPLY TO SERVE AS A WARNING TO OTHERS.
9. IT IS FAR MORE IMPRESSIVE WHEN OTHERS DISCOVER YOUR GOOD QUALITIES WITHOUT YOUR HELP.
10. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, SKYDIVING IS NOT FOR YOU.
11. GIVE A MAN A FISH AND HE WILL EAT FOR A DAY. TEACH HIM HOW TO FISH, AND HE WILL SIT IN A BOAT & DRINK BEER ALL DAY.
12. IF YOU LEND SOMEONE $20, AND NEVER SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN, IT WAS PROBABLY WORTH IT.
13. IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING.
14. IF YOU DRINK, DON'T PARK; ACCIDENTS CAUSE PEOPLE.
15. DON'T WORRY, IT ONLY SEEMS KINKY THE FIRST TIME.
16. GOOD JUDGMENT COMES FROM BAD EXPERIENCE, AND A LOT OF THAT COMES FROM BAD JUDGMENT.
17. A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FOOT.
18. THERE ARE TWO THEORIES TO ARGUING WITH WOMEN. NEITHER ONE WORKS.
19. GENERALLY SPEAKING, YOU AREN'T LEARNING MUCH WHEN YOUR MOUTH IS MOVING.
20. EXPERIENCE IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T GET UNTIL JUST AFTER YOU NEED IT
21. NEVER MISS A GOOD CHANCE TO SHUT UP.
22. WE ARE BORN NAKED, WET, AND HUNGRY. THEN THINGS GET WORSE.
23. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE... NIGHT.
24. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.
25. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WAS UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY.
26. 42.7% OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
27. 99% OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
28. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
29. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
30. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.
31. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.
32. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.
33. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.
34. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
35. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
36. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.
37. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE!
38. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
39. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!
40. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
41. HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
42. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.
43. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.
44. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
45. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
46. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
47. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND, BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
48. I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
49. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED.
50. JUST REMEMBER--IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.
51. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.